I have always perceived myself to be an optimistic person; yet I have to admit that occasionally I am paralyzed with fear. Since March 13 of this year I have been unemployed; I am now on my extension and starting to feel a bit scared. This isn't the first time for me. Twenty-six years ago I had been besieged by the same fear. The difference was that I was laid off from a factory and I knew that I would eventually have a job again. Now the factory has been closed since 2007 and I have been working temporary jobs ever since. Make no mistake I am over fifty and even though I know that no one can legally discriminate against me (which is really hard to prove); I know that with twenty people all after the same job, my chances dwindle with each passing day. Patiently I wait and pray; and I have a very hard time being patience; all I want is to work so that I can pay my bills and dream of ways to spend on Christmas gifts, birthdays, and just because I love you gifts. I, at this point, can barely pay my bills and of course the extras are just faded dreams.
Recently I have tried to find work from home jobs. Very scary, so many of them seem to be scams; I have approached a couple and I hope I didn't waste my money. It seems I always learn life's lessons the hard way. All I want is to be back at work again.
I promise to be more optimistic in my next blog, but right now I know that there are a lot of people out there that need to know they are not alone.
I keep myself busy with charity work. I belong to the Saint Vincent de Paul Society. When I get to feeling too sorry for myself, I look at the people that I am helping for courage to continue on. I help so many wonderful people, and I thank God for the opportunity to be of help to them. It keeps me focused that God is there and He will never abandon me. I just need to keep the faith, not lose hope and keep pressing forward.
