I have always perceived myself to be an optimistic person; yet I have to admit that occasionally I am paralyzed with fear. Since March 13 of this year I have been unemployed; I am now on my extension and starting to feel a bit scared. This isn't the first time for me. Twenty-six years ago I had been besieged by the same fear. The difference was that I was laid off from a factory and I knew that I would eventually have a job again. Now the factory has been closed since 2007 and I have been working temporary jobs ever since. Make no mistake I am over fifty and even though I know that no one can legally discriminate against me (which is really hard to prove); I know that with twenty people all after the same job, my chances dwindle with each passing day. Patiently I wait and pray; and I have a very hard time being patience; all I want is to work so that I can pay my bills and dream of ways to spend on Christmas gifts, birthdays, and just because I love you gifts. I, at this point, can barely pay my bills and of course the extras are just faded dreams.
Recently I have tried to find work from home jobs. Very scary, so many of them seem to be scams; I have approached a couple and I hope I didn't waste my money. It seems I always learn life's lessons the hard way. All I want is to be back at work again.
I promise to be more optimistic in my next blog, but right now I know that there are a lot of people out there that need to know they are not alone.
I keep myself busy with charity work. I belong to the Saint Vincent de Paul Society. When I get to feeling too sorry for myself, I look at the people that I am helping for courage to continue on. I help so many wonderful people, and I thank God for the opportunity to be of help to them. It keeps me focused that God is there and He will never abandon me. I just need to keep the faith, not lose hope and keep pressing forward.
Mary you are a very optimistic person but even the most optimistic get scared. Reality is setting in and your faith is dear to you. You know God uses His Mother to intervene and even his saints can go to bat for you and they will. The Saint Jude novena has worked for me many times when rough times looked it's bleakest and the next thing I knew this dear saint had it worked out with God.
ReplyDeleteAlso remember Father Ruess at Nanny's grave he comforted you and he said, "Don't cry too hard Mary she is with you now more than she could ever be in life." When my son Larry almost died I called upon every saint I could along with the blessed mother and Jesus. Then Father's words rang in my ear and I called upon Nanny and Francy too. Father knew what he was talking about.