Sunday, December 13, 2009

Innocence

I think this picture makes me feel like five. It probably should since I down loaded and colored a preschool coloring picture. I have always heard that when you get older you long for those days when life was innocent and carefree. I have to admit that is somewhat true for me. Not that I want to be a child again, because in all honesty I truly do not. My childhood was happy and I have many fond memories, but I also had a lot of trauma and tears that I surely don't want to go through again. I do long for those people that I loved so dearly who have passed on. I miss my mom and how she rocked me on her lap and would read stories to us from the Childcraft books we owned. Mom was really good at embellishing those stories too. When I learned to read they just didn't have the same plot, and sometimes not even the same characters.



Sometimes I can close my eyes and smell the Sunday roast cooking with Nanny making dumplings to go in the gravy. I can see in my minds eye Nanny and Francy (her sister) sitting on the couch playing Chinese checkers and arguing about one or the other making an unauthorised move. Or the time we went to Murphy's to go shopping and then we would stop at the drugstore to buy an ice cream soda or go to the candy store for fudge or chocolate covered pretzel. Yeah I have many nice memories.


As I got older my sister and I actually became friends; although we still had our moments. All I wanted as a child was to grow up and do great things. I cannot remember the author off hand, but one of my favorite short stories was the Secret Life of Walter Mitty. For those of you who do not know the story; I will give you a very brief summary. Walter Mitty was a day dreamer. He always imagined himself in different situations and occupations and he was always a sort of hero. I identify with him. When I first read the story I was relieved, I thought I was the only person in the world that did that.


Today I am still a day dreamer; at fifty-six that is a bit scary. Maybe that is why I write, so that I can bring to life all those silly day dreams.

1 comment:

  1. Strange when a person gets older - not too long ago I bought one of my grandsons a very big coloring book his dad and Uncle doug loved it when I bought them one especially around Christmas time but Aaron isn't much for coloring books until I said I was taking it over I too felt the child in me, of course as soon as I said that he decided that was his.
    There was three of us kids and though our mother and father loved all three of us kids they had their favorites between my sister and I. My brother was both their favorites but it seemed Nanny and Francy loved us all equally. But when my mother read to us from a childcraft book she made it very interesting I remember us saying please mommy read one more.
    My Mother hated birds because of their feathers and Nanny and Francy were the true home makers in our family. One year mom let Nanny make a turkey, stuffing and all the trimmings and believe me it was a real treat for all of us. When we moved to the country is when my sister and I became close for some reason it was hard for us to make friends. Not for my brother though he had plenty of friends. As for my sister and I it was make peace with each other or have no one, what I didn't get is that she had this great personality and I was so shy I was surprised to make just a few friends. The memmories were great and Nanny and Francy and their other family members that have passed on and are very much missed but it seems you can feel their prescence at times as if they our watching over us. Oh and I can't forget our mother either she has been gone from this earth for fourteen years but like my sister said above in her blog the innocence of a child it truely is something. I love you Mary you know who this is. :)

    ReplyDelete